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Showing posts from March, 2019

My Job vs. My Mental Health: At A Crossroads

(Originally posted on The $76K Project on 3/9/2019) This is a long post about my mental health in the context of modern work culture. Publicly sharing my mental health challenges isn't easy for me, in part because there's so much skepticism surrounding those of us who struggle with anxiety, depression, and other conditions. Are these illnesses real? Are we complaining too much? Not getting enough vitamin D? Do we just need to try harder? Have more grit? Be more resilient? I know some people will read this post, roll their eyes, and think,  Suck it up, Buttercup. Life is hard. Most people dealing with mental illness have tried everything from hot baths to medication to therapy. We're well aware of treatment options, and frankly, "You should try x, y, and z"-type advice isn't particularly helpful. Same goes for "Look on the bright side" or "Make a gratitude list" or "Others have it worse". These statements send the message that ment

Who Am I? What Year Is It? When Will I Get To Sleep?

(Originally published on The $76K Project on 3/2/2019) I'm stopping in with a very informal post to say that I. Am. Tired. Not unhappy, but tired. I haven't been sleeping well because I have job anxiety. This means that I get sleepy and go to bed by 10 PM... ...and then proceed to stare into the darkness for two or three hours before raiding pretzels from the pantry and knocking myself out with Benadryl. Don't get me wrong: I don't dislike my new job. This gig is ten bajillion times better than the previous one. In fact, I rather enjoy the tasks assigned to me. The problem is that there are  so many of them . I don't know if I can keep up, and I'm not just saying that. I'm doing my best, but the work is still bleeding over into the evenings and the weekends. I've always been pretty good at my jobs, even if I didn't like them. Even if I felt like I was completely half-assing the work. This job? I am  triple-assing  it, and I'm still not keeping up